Thursday, August 30, 2007

Anyone who knows me, knows that when I get an idea that I think is a good idea and I run with it. My family is normally a good sport, probably because they know that it will not involve responsibility, but some way to go and enjoy ourselves.

The other dayweek I was remembering how, when I was a kid, my mom wanted to play tennis so she taught us kids to play so she would have someone to play with. I enjoyed playing but when Knight and I were dating we tried playing and it didn't go so well. You see, my mom taught us that the fun of playing was in the volley. Knight had never been taught tennis, but had watched Wimbledon on TV. He had me running all over the court while I kept hitting it back to him. He didn't see the point in playing just to volley. Neither one of us had played since.

Until today. I had decided that it was time to teach the kids and we pulled out Knights old racket, bought another one today, got us a couple packs of tennis balls, and went off to teach the kids. So we waited for Knight to get done working. While we were waiting we wasted time by doing things like...school, chores, errands. You know, the responsible things.

We get to the court. Knight and I try warming up. We need practice. But it's fun. Especially since the kids are so excited that we don't have to run and get the balls we hit out. We have 4 ball fetchers with us. We play for say 10 min. Then we are made aware that the courts are reserved at 4pm for the tennis team because apparently the school does not have tennis courts. But the good news is that they only have the courts from 4-7 Mon-Fri. It's 4pm so we leave. We end up going to the tennis courts in our own town. They are not as good, but at least we can play on them.

I work with each kid one on one while Knight plays baseball with the other kids. That is until he hits the ball hard enough to split the ball and they can't play anymore. The kids are enjoying learning tennis, and the weather feels great to be out running around in it. There is not too much running yet, as they are still missing the ball more than hitting it. The annual garage sale at church is coming up and I am hoping to be able to get a couple more rackets.

So... tennis anyone???

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Thursday Thirteen...

Thirteen Steven Wrightisms that make me giggle...

1.I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

2.Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

3.I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!

4.I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

5.Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

6.If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

7.I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

8.My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

9.Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.

10.When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.

11.I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

12.The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

13.Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I have spoken before about my kids love for commercials. Sometimes I think maybe that was just a small phase in their lives. And then there are other times...



The other morning Rara woke up before any of the other kids. When she came down stairs she was quiet and just listened as Knight and I finished up our bible study we have started doing together. Then she sat and listened to us talking.



For some reason both of us had itchy eyes that morning. For the first time that morning Rara decides to add to the conversation.



R-Why don't you try Lanacane?

Us-What?!?!

R-You know. Lanacane.

Us-Lanacane?

R-It stops itching on contact. It kills germs too.

Knight-Yeah, and it will kill your eyes too.


Those who make their living coming up with advertising sure know what they are doing.
One of the farmers in our church has an annual corn roast. We have not been able to make it often but this year our schedule permitted and we were able to go for the first time in years. They just don't have roasted corn, grilled chicken, and a potluck but they also have horse powered wagon rides, volleyball and football set up, and last year they started a peddle pull. This is an annual event that has hundreds of people show up. Not just from our church, but different churches and with different names on the door. But we can come together and enjoy fellowship as one. What an amazing event.


This is the first time I have seen a peddle pull. For those who don't know, the rider peddles the "tractor" as far as they can as the weight moves on the pulley system making it tougher and tougher. The full pull is 40 feet and if there is a tie they add more weight and the ones that tied do it again.


All that to say that most of the family participated in the peddle pull. All but me and Rara. Knight was pleased with himself that he was right in the middle of all the men that participated. J-Bell and Desti didn't do as well as they hoped for, but they tried.


J-Bird is the one who couldn't have been happier with his pull. He had a full pull, the only boy in his age group that did that, and took home the gold, or at least the JD tractor set he picked out as his prize. And he made it look easy. This was a sanctioned pull, and therefor the top 3 in the age groups are able to go on and compete in the state competition in a couple weeks. And since it is not too far away from my house, and J-Bird REALLY wants to compete at the next one, we signed him up.


We did have plans for that weekend in particular, but how many times does your son have a chance to put "tractor peddle pull state champ" on his resume? So, if your available Sept 15th at 11am come cheer him on.
*Pictured--Upper left-J-Bird (sorry, can't really tell he's pulling)... Upper right-Knight...Lower left-J-bell...Lower left-Desti

Saturday, August 25, 2007

They say that opposites attract and they are right, whoever "they" are. Knight and I are opposite in most every way. He is a morning person, I am a night owl. He is VERY social, I need my time of solitude. He is a planner, I make as few plans as possible. I love being on the water anytime but I don't fish, he loves fishing and but otherwise he doesn't get excited about being on water. I swim well, he can doggy paddle. He LOVES budgets, I see the benefit but I am willing to break the budget, often. He loves eating meat, I eat very little meat. You get the point.



As you can imagine this has caused some frustrations on both sides. Not as many as you would think though. And there is only one reason. Christ. Neither one of us were Christians when we got married but when we accepted Christ into our lives, and searched out how to live out our faith I found this ridiculous request from the Lord to serve and be submissive to my husband. At least I thought it was ridiculous. Let's just say I am not the submissive type. At all.



But try I have. I do my best to be submissive, not because I think my Knight is all wise and knows what is best for my life, but because I am trying to honor my God, not my man. I have even been called a mindless twit from men and women alike because I don't stand up for my "rights" enough. I try to please my husband to try to please my God. And it has not been easy. Remember I am free-spirited. I need to live life today, not plan to be spontaneous next week. And when I REALLY want something I want it NOW. I don't want to put it in the budget, save up for umpteen months and get it when I get a really hot deal. I want it. If we have the money why not buy it? (We don't do credit so we always pay cash) That does not fit in with my planning hubby. So if it really something I want a push for a little, and then let it drop. (I am talking about big purchases, not small ones)



We have talked lately about the differences between us. We I talked about how difficult it is to try to be submissive to a planner when you are a free spirit. My philosophy of you only have one life, why not live it today, for tomorrow may not come. Not with just anything, but if it not sinful why not. So we talked. He went off to work. *brace yourself, this is where the miracle came in* He thought about what I said and decided he works hard to provide for my needs but he doesn't concentrate on my wants. So he came home last night and told me we were going to EC. And then we bought me a new toy. Now he can be fishing in his boat, and I can be on the same lake, but actually enjoying myself! Thanks Knight!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

WHAT'S IN A NAME?


Amy from Laughing through the Tears has tagged me for a fun meme. I thought I'd play along and since I can't think of others that I read regularly to tag under the rules, I will leave it up to whoever wants to play. So here goes...




1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.




2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.




3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.




4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.




My whole given name is Deanna Lynn.




L-Lynn was a tool for torturing my mother when I was younger. My mom had a sibling who thought she was adopted because all of my moms siblings' names started with the same letter except for this one. My mom having that fear, named all of our first name ending with an "a". As a child we figured out that my middle name is the only one that doesn't end with an "e". So I asked my mom if I was adopted. So mean.




Y-Year. I was born in the chinese year of the Dragon. Apparently that means...

People born in the Year of the Dragon are healthy, energetic, excitable,
short-tempered, and stubborn. They are also honest, sensitive, brave, and they
inspire confidence and trust. Dragon people are the most eccentric of any in the
eastern zodiac. They neither borrow money nor make flowery speeches, but they
tend to be soft-hearted which sometimes gives others an advantage over them.
They are compatible with Rats, Snakes, Monkeys, and Roosters.
Knight is a monkey. And this means diddly to both of us.




N-Nonconformist. At least that is what I like to think. I do know that pushing me to do something is NOT the way to get me to do it. The more you push, the more I fight it. I don't like to stand out in the crowd, but then again, I don't even like to be in the crowd. Some people call me wild. Some call me free spirited. Most just call me stubborn. But I don't think any would call me a conformist.















N-Nightowl. I do better at night. I think better, have more energy, and I really enjoy evenings to myself. Not that I get any. I used to. But with Knights new schedule he's home and doesn't go to bed unless I'm with him. So I have resigned myself to getting up in the morning to enjoy quiet time. That didn't work so hot either. But that's another story...

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I love the English language. Just ask anyone that happens to email, text, or IM with me. No text talk, except an occasional lol or smiley. I do my best to spell correctly. It is just what I do, who I am. And to be honest, if you are a blog that comes here, I do try to visit you if you leave a comment, but if your blog is filled with misspellings and horrible grammar, I will give you the benefit of the doubt once or twice, but unless I REALLY like you, I don't keep coming back. I just have trouble enjoying reading when things are butchered. Sorry, I am an English snob, of sorts. Not that you won't find a dangling participle here and there around these parts!

Today in my email inbox was an email from a fellow Freecycler. Now, I don't know this person. But this is the email put out to everyone...
i am trying to do a good thing i am bilding computers for som handecap kids and
i am out of parts if aneone has som pc parts or hole computers let me know so u
know i try to bild 3 pc's and donat atlest 1 to menteley chalanged and aney
money i get off other 2 gose to keping it going but latley ive ben to softharted
and ran out of parts completley and i have 4 kids wating for free ones so i am
looking for aney parts

That is totally copy and pasted. I was not making it worse in any way. This is some of the reasons I struggle to read what others put on the web. If this is you-- I am sorry if you are offended, and I offer my free service of teaching you where your spell check is, or I will edit your freecycle emails anytime.

Ok, off my soapbox.

In other news I am officially announcing that I have started a blog just to chronicle our schooling. This will just be a home school blog. Since it is the first day of school, I am going to start writing in it regularly. Probably not every day, but hopefully a couple times a week.

Paradise is back to routine. Can you feel the collective sigh of relief from all???

Monday, August 20, 2007


Melody over at Slurping Life has chosen to award me the Nice Matters Award. I know you are first thinking...what is that?
This award is for those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends and
those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a
positive influence on our blogging world. Once you’ve been awarded please pass
it on to 4 others who you feel are deserving of this award.
And now your thinking...WHY YOU??????
Yeah, me too. I must REALLY have her fooled. But, never one to turn down a reason to blog, I will accept it lovingly, with heartfelt thanks. Out of all the bloggers I read, she really is the model of kindness. I love reading her blog, and viewing her photography. This is one blogger I would love to meet in person. I think I would have a blast with her and her boys! I would really give this award back to her again, but I get the feeling that is not what they intended when they said to pass it on.
So now to award others (in no particular order)...Amy at Laughing Through the Tears (her kindness really shines through on her blog), Molly at Doodles (she's even better in person!) Toni at In the Midst of This Season (her blog makes me laugh, her kindness shines through) Karen at For Such a Time as Now (reading her stuff just seems to encourage me, whether it be a comment left or a blog post)

Saturday, August 18, 2007



Desti took some of her birthday money and bought herself a professional style at Cost Cutters. This picture doesn't do it justice, but the picture was taken for a completely different reason.

I spray painted an old bike last weekend, and the kids wanted to ride it, but it was still in pieces. Since I didn't have time to put the bike together yesterday I told them if they wanted to ride it, they would have to figure out how to put it back together. The grease all over Desti's face was proof that they didn't have the easiest time, but they did get it together.

I'm spending a lot of time preparing for school. I am still learning the new curriculum, but since school hasn't started, I am not feeling too much pressure.

That's life here in Paradise

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Happy 10th Desti!

Another kid hits the double digits. Knight took the family and a couple of her friends horseback riding yesterday to celebrate. It was about an hour long trail ride. The ranch also has a petting area for other animals, and since Desti is such an animal lover she was in heaven.

I stayed back home and made the stuff for lunch. She didn't want birthday cake, so I made some zucchini bars instead. I also made pizza dough so that each person could make their own pizza. Then they chose to sit around and watch my old home movies. Not movies of them. Movies from when I was a kid. I don't get it, but whatever.

Desti is one of the neatest kids. She loves people, especially little kids. She is content playing with anyone, of any age. She has a big heart. Cares deeply for everyone.

She also thinks outside the box. Teaching her has been a challenge. Not because she's not smart, but because she doesn't think the way I do. My classic example--there was a sheet of animals. She was to find the one that is different from the rest. There were all sorts of animals but mainly there were land animals. And one fish. She circled the kangaroo. When asked about it she explained that that was the only one that can hop. Not a wrong answer, but a different one than expected.

It has been a joy to watch her grow into the young lady she is. I truly hope she continues to grow strong in the Lord, and her love for people and animals stay as pure as it is now.

I am blessed to have her call me Mom.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Swim lessons is over! J-bell, Rara, and J-Bird all passed their levels. Desti did not but it was only her first time in level 4 and she has to work on things like the butterfly stroke. I don't know any one who loves to swim that actually likes the butterfly except the ones that swim competitively.

I also have my 15 yr old niece for the weekend and had my 3yr old nephew overnight Thursday night. I took them all to the pool where both my niece and nephew took a poolside nap in the shade.

I also started getting my curriculum yesterday. It's better than Christmas for me. As I put it away I have high hopes of what this school year is going to bring. But looking at it all, and knowing it's about 1/3 of what I'm going to get makes me a little overwhelmed.

That's this week in review...I know I have been bad at posting and commenting lately. Pretty soon school will start, and therefore my routine will be back.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Ok, since I don't have much to say...and because I know Aunti J is waiting for more posts...and because I can't quit laughing over this quote I just read....

I didn't understand NASCAR until I met some NASCAR fans. You talk to a
couple of NASCAR fans and you'll see where a shiny car driving in a circle would
fascinate them all day. I can make fun of NASCAR fans because if they chase me,
I just turn right.

~Alonzo Bodden

But truely this is how I feel about NASCAR

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Note to self....

If your children want to invite a child over, and you don't know the parents well, you should actually put some thought into saying yes. If you don't your children might...

...get into a contest to one up the others with funny stories about the family

...reveal to said guest exactly what each person in the family wears (or not wears) to bed

...share all the "funny" things that happen, like daddy talking in his sleep and what was said

...make you spend so much time on your knees praying that the kids don't say something so horrifying that you can never show your face in public again

A highlight so far....
"Hey E, guess which finger Desti had to have cut open yesterday at the doctors."
"That one. The one with the band aid on it"

And it's only been 1.5 hours

Monday, August 06, 2007

We had a girls night out last night. My mom, three sisters, and myself went kayaking on a chain of lakes that my mom's cabin is on. We had a great time!

We are all super beginners, but that doesn't stop women like us! Some of my sisters have never been on a kayak, and the others had limited use. That did not stop us from paddling to all four lakes on the chain, getting off at an island in Island Lake (what else would you call it) to stretch, and much on trail mix.

One of the highlights was the jousting match. Yeah, you read that right. Jousting in kayaks. With people who have never been on a kayak before.

Here's how it worked.

They paddle away from each other, turn around facing each other, then paddle as fast as they can towards each other. When they get close, they splash each other.

I never claimed we were adults on these girls night out times!

We got back in time, cleaned up the boats, and grabbed a bite to eat at a restaurant down the road. Good food. Great conversation. The poor waitress dumped a tray of our drinks as she was setting them down on the tray holder thingy. Nobody got wet, but she was so embarrassed. Then we talked about what we have all done waitressing. My sister dumped a tray of drinks down a mans back once. This was nothing.

We are hoping to go again. I figure if I rent a kayak enough, I should get one for free, don't you?

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Through a couple of conversations recently, I am more aware of how people view their past and their place in this world. Some, live their life, never looking back. Not to say that they are not aware of their past, but they don't have a desire to share the memories. Some, I have learned, never are real curious about those who crossed their path long ago. They never want to take the old gang and go talk and see the old haunts. The people that seem to be like this are still living in the area that they grew up. Their lives have just been on one track and their past is just an extension of who they are now.

Then there are people like me. My past is broken up into chunks. My sisters and I talk not in years but streets and towns. "When we lived on Willow St..." "When we lived in Vegas..."etc. For us, their is a desire to go back and see how it has changed. We do wonder what ever happened to different people. And there is a desire to find out. But for me, there is only a desire to go and see these things with the people who were there. Not to relive, to to remember.

I have been thinking a lot about it lately. I think I am just trying to understand what makes me think the way I do. To understand who I am and what purpose the Lord has for me. But as much as I desire to go see and remember, I don't desire to go back permanently. I also am not afraid to get up and completely start over in a new place. This place will just be one of those blocks of my past. There is no fear in that for me.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Getting the news about the bridge collapse in MN was a shock. I'm sure it was to all who heard. Here in our neighborhood it seems as though this is all that has happened in the world in the last 48 hours. And you get to thinking...

How many times have I gone over that same bridge, thinking to myself..."The Mississippi river is beautiful from up here"

It happened at rush hour. When Knight was working at his previous job he was in the cities going over that bridge, normally at that time of day.

I am amazed at how few lost their lives. As we prayed in church Wednesday, a mere hour after it happened, we prayed for minimal loss of life. And me of little faith was thinking, "If only...but what devastation we are going to expect?"

I know that the loss is great for those families left to deal with it. It seems as though we are never without the hurting ones to comfort. The phrase "Be good to everyone...because everyone is having a hard time" has never seemed more true.

And I know that I am blessed to be one of those in the position to comfort those who the Lord has brought into my path, instead of the one needing comforting.

Paradise is only paradise from the outside looking in. When you are on the inside, it's reality.

Praying that each of you are on the giving end of comfort this week, instead of being the one to receive.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

More on Life here in WI. I thank Jeff Foxworthy for the info.

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 38 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you're proud that your region makes he national news 96 nights each year because Park Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", you might live in Wisconsin.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Wisconsin.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Head Cheese, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have either a pet or a child named "Brett", you might in Wisconsin.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Menomonie & Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Wisconsin.

If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "From the land of sky-
blue waters,....you might live in Wisconsin.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

2. "Vacation" means going up north past Hwy 8 for the weekend.

3. You measure distance in hours.

4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on Sunday.

7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings and funerals ).

9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them.

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time.

13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

15. You refer to the Packers as "we."

16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.

19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.

20. You know how to polka.

21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

23. Down South to you means Illinois.

24. A brat is something you eat.

25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.

26. You go out to fish fry every Friday.

27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

29. You find minus twenty degrees "a little chilly."

30. You actually understand these jokes.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

On of the blogs I read had a post title of Wednesdays Child is full of Woe. It got me thinking. I pulled up the poem. I remembered who I could and calculated who I couldn't remember. Here are the results...
MONDAY'S CHILD IS FAIR OF FACE by Mother Goose
Monday's child is fair of face, (Rara)
Tuesday's child is full of grace, (Knight)
Wednesday's child is full of woe, (Me)
Thursday's child has far to go. (Desti)
Friday's child is loving and giving, (J-Bird)
Saturday's child works hard for a living, (J-Bell)
But the child born on the Sabbath Day,
Is fair and wise and good and gay.

So none of us were born on the same day of the week, and none of us is destined to be fair and wise and good and gay. Oh, the psychic ability of Mother Goose!

In other news...I won! Melody at Slurping Life had a fundraiser for Parker. People donated to help raise money. I won an animial costume from Janice and Susan at 5 Min for Moms.

And the last thing I have for you is helpful guidelines to help you understand what you will encounter if you venture into the midwest.

Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when East Coasters and
Californians cross states such as Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin, Nebraska,
Kansas, Iowa, Michigan, Missouri, Minnesota, North Dakota, and South Dakota,
those states' Tourism Councils have adopted a set of information guidelines.In
an effort to help outsiders understand the Midwest , the following list will be
handed to each driver entering the state:

1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin likely did more work before
breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a 'gravel road'. No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your car.
3. We all started hunting and fishing
when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Go ahead and \n bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if
a flathead catfish \n breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for
those little \n trout you fish for...bait.
5. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making
their final approach, we will shoot it! You might hope you don't have it up to
your ear at the time.
7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order
steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick
off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
8. You bring Coke into my house, it better be \n brown, wet, and
served over ice.
9. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends?
We're real impressed. We have a quarter-million dollar combine that
we only use two weeks a year.
10. Let's get this straight - We have one stoplight in town. We
stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
11. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want
to. So, you're a feminist... Isn't that cute..
12. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too--and turtle. You really
want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
13. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it.
Don't like it? Interstates 70, 80, & 90 go two ways--Interstates
29, 35, & 69 go the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.
14. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's like a
religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
15. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly. Understand the concept? 16. Yeah, we have golf courses.
Just don't hit in the water hazard, it spooks our fish.
17. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving
like an idiot, his name is "Sir". No matter how old he
18. The bill on your hat should turn down at the edges to shed the
rain and be centered over your nose to keep the sunlight out of your eyes.
Any other location/orientation makes you look like an idiot.
19. We also speak ENGLISH here, speak it or go
away.

ENJOY YOUR VISIT YA' HEAR!