Sunday, September 09, 2007

In my mothers eyes.

I have this nasty habit of over analyzing everything in my life. Why do I do the things I do? Why do I feel the way I feel? What is really important to me? Is it really? Does my life and actions show the importance of that? Is this what I was meant for in life? Am I doing the things I am doing for the right reasons? The right motivation? Am I succeeding at what I want to be accomplishing or am I failing?

Get the picture?

I have always wondered where I get this self analyzing trait. Today I found out.

I am considering going to school. Not teaching my kids, but becoming a student again. But the questions start. What would I be good at? Would I enjoy it, or would it just be something I am capable of? Would I feel content in that field? What happens if I find I don't like the field?

So to get perspective, I talked to both of my parents today. First I went to my dad's house. I talked to him about different fields that I am considering. He is always pro-education so I didn't get anything but positive remarks about me going. I did get insight into the fields I am considering. I think he eliminated one completely.

Then I called my mom. Her first question was "what is going on in your life that makes you feel that you need to do this at this point in your life?" She's not meaning it in a negative way at all, just analyzing. Then she told me to write a book. Yeah, right! I don't think so.

She has just recently (last Thursday)retired for the moment. This woman never sits still, she'll be working again soon. She is at that place where she is wondering what the next chapter in her life should be. What does she want to be when she grows up. We talked about being in a crossroads in life, new chapters, personalities, etc. She is as analyzing as I am.

This is where I get a lot of my personality. I saw myself today in my mother. Some would see themselves being like their mother as a bad thing. I don't. I just never have made the connection to how I process my life and she processes hers.

1 comment:

Leeann said...

Good for you! If you go back, let me know how you do it! I would love to go back to school to become a RN in labor and delivery. It is my dream job and one day I will obtain it....if I can ever stay out of labor and delivery as a patient! lol