Monday, December 31, 2007

A last look back on 2007

As we are bringing in a new year tonight, I thought I would share my blog highlights from 2007

January: The year started off with illness. Yuck!

February: We celebrated Rara's birthday and surprised the kids with an overnight outing

March: We had a couple fires, a lesson on why to buckle up, and J-Bird had thoughts on his Grandpa being in the war

April: We got a new car and painted the living room

May: We saw the lake sturgeon running, so cool! Knight and I also went on an overnight date

June: Rara had surgery, then J-bird had to get in on the action too

July: The kids receive a threatening note and we had our first family kayaking trip

August: Our boy becomes a peddle pull champ and Desti turned 10

September: The month of the derby, corn, and the sale

October: J-Birds birthday and a trip to Duluth

November: We added to our family

December: Our newest family member had her babies

Now as we look forward to 2008, these things we will put behind us, and look forward to the future. Hoping that you have a great 2008

Friday, December 28, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen of the best memories from Christmas 2007.

1. J-Bell and Grandpa golfing 18 holes on the wii

2. J-Bird opening a pair of gloves from Grandma and getting very excited, exclaiming sincerely "this is EXACTLY what I needed!"

3. Mom deciding that this Christmas she will make ME her lasagna. What a wonderful treat, even if she did encourage me to share it with the rest of the family.

4. Uncle M, when trying the wii boxing nearly punched Aunt M, not knowing you punch toward the tv, not the person your boxing.

5. The kids playing the card game "pig" with Grandma in order to figure out who picks out what present.

6. Watching Rara play the new karaoke game, standing on a chair with a headset on. We couldn't hear the music so we just listened to her belt out "Shout to the Lord"

7. Finishing the Jesse Tree. I love doing new things to focus our minds on the meaning of Christmas.

8. Seeing people we don't normally see and talking to people we don't normally talk to. Family get togethers are fun.

9. Having Christmas morning at home. Normally we are staying with someone. We were home because of the puppies. A great way to spend Christmas morning playing with the new gifts from Knights side.

10. After spending time convincing Knight to let us bring the wii to his side of the family, it working out so well that now Grandpa wants one so he can golf in the winter. Hee Hee, I was right yet again!

11. Having an over-abundance of food. One member on my side brought 9 dozen buns and enough lunch meat to fill the buns...all for 24 people. Add that to ALL the other food and we can't say we are not blessed

12. Finding out about real need in our community and being able to bless others. Nothing is better than giving.

13. This year the focus seemed to be off the presents and onto the people. We didn't get a lot of "stuff". We are all happy and thankful with what we have received. We did not have to rearrange our house. And yet the kids have more memories of time spent with the family to cherish.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Frisco Christmas Lights - Wizards in Winter

I am always amazed at how people choose to use their talents. Merry Christmas to all. Enjoy the video

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Envisioning the Christmas story

Over the last week I have heard a lot of people telling what they envision when they think about certain aspects of the Christmas story. Some have been pretty neat to envision, others have been completely different from what I envision.

One I have heard is of the angles that brought the good news to the shepherds. This person is picturing the angles at the edge of heaven, peering down on the earth, then running back to God and asking "Is it time?" The angels understanding what is going on, so excited to be the chosen host to come and proclaim the messiah for the first time. Then the peer go peer down on the earth again, wait as long as they can stand it, then run back to God again and once again ask "Is it time yet?" Such a neat picture.

Another is of the innkeeper. This man being gruff, somewhat disheveled just peeking out the door and roughly saying "There are no rooms. Go away!" Mary and Joseph begging, pleading for somewhere and him motioning with his head "You can stay there, in the barn. Take your donkey and get out of here."

I don't see the innkeeper this way. I pictured more of someone who offered what little he had. Humbly saying "I'm sorry. All I have is the barn, but there is a corner that is pretty clean, and it is warm. That is the best I can possibly do."

I wonder how it all really went down.

Friday, December 21, 2007


For years, I have admired those I know who scrapbook. Their pages are beautiful, with love, thought, and energy poured into each layout they have created. I have actually shown up to crops just to watch those with the talent, and willingness to lovingly create a keepsake for themselves and their children work. I would think to myself....

Good for them!

Oh, did you think that I actually wanted to join them? Ha! Silly, silly person. If you thought that you don't know me well enough.

Yes, the pages are beautiful. Yes, they are creating a treasure with their own hands.

But everything is, what's the word?

Picture perfect.

That just aint me.

I would love to say that I have my house beautifully decorated, ready for company at a moments notice. I would also love to say that I have faithfully recorded the important things that have happened in their lives for them to go back and reminisce.

Yeah, they'll have to read my blog for that. Most big things make it to the blog at least.

But last weekend we had Knight's extended family Christmas get together. Everyone was able to make it. Knights Grandma and Grandpa are still around to bless us with their love and we are so glad that our kids have been able to get to know most of their great grandparents. I had decided that I wanted to get prints of some of the pictures that were taken. They had taken a shot with everyone, and then each of grandma and grandpas' boys' families as they are in 2007. Then I decided that I should try to put them in a nice book.
As I was looking at photo albums and scrapbooks today at the store, I came across a digital scrapbook set. Remembering that I had purchased Photoshop Elements this fall, but never took the time to figure it out, I sat down on the computer today and figure it out.
And I did. Yeah me!
So here is my first real attempt at digiscraping. I think maybe this type of scrapbooking I can handle.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Thursday Thirteen--Christmas Favorites

My top 13 things about Christmas(no particular order):

1. My Bethlehem village

2. Buying for my kids

3. Having all the family together

4. All the lights everywhere especially Irvine Park

5. A month focused on Christ

6. Christmas carols

7. Christmas cards

8. The letters updating us on friends near and afar

9. Cookie Decorating with the cousins

10. Eggnog-ice cold, hold the liquor please

11. Pie-pumpkin and apple, thank you

12. Stockings hanging on the mantle

13. Giving to those we love

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Works for me Wednesday-Christmas gift giving

Years ago, when our kids were little, we had decided that we were going to be somewhat methodical about Christmas with our family. We would have so many new items after spending Christmas with the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins that we would practically have to rearrange our house. Our goal was to teach them the real meaning of Christmas, along with the blessing that they have so much family to love on. It was hard to get the focus where it should be. On this note, we decided that each of our children would receive 3 gifts from us, none from Santa(yeah, we're mean like that). We let them know that Jesus received 3 gifts from the wise men, we will give them 3. We do not say anything about what they may get from the extended family.

I have heard some families take the 3 gifts and look at the symbolization of the 3 gifts from the magi. Gold (a gift for a King) something the child really wants, frankincense (a gift for a priest) something for the child's faith, and myrrh (a burial ointment) something for the child to share as Christ gave to us as he died and rose again. This is neat, we just don't go that far.

Our kids have been very aware of the 3 gifts. We tell them it's 3. No more, no less. In years past when money was tighter, the gifts were smaller, if we had the money for larger gifts, we were happy to get them. This year, the three gift thing was especially helpful. We became aware of some need in our community and Knight and I wanted to help, but we also wanted to give the kids the option of helping. We sat them down and let them know of the need and gave them an option of giving up one or two of their gifts they would get from us, in order to help others. All of my kids opted to give up two of their gifts and have the money normally spent on them, spent on others.

I have been asked by a couple people this year if I get stressed out making everything fair or even when getting gifts for the kids. Honestly, it is never a concern. Everything is fair. They know what to expect, and when given the option to give, they know it will be a sacrifice. Their lack of those other gifts were really not noticed. They had helped pick out those gifts for the ones we helped, and they knew it was coming.

We have already opened our family gifts from each other. With Christmas eve and Christmas day given to our extended families we have made our own family tradition of not focusing on "the" day. We celebrate Christmas all month, the presents are just one small part of it.

Works for me Wednesday is hosted by Rocks in My Dryer. For some really great tips, go there.

Monday, December 17, 2007


Here are the puppies at two weeks. We have Farve (a boy) that is J-Birds puppy for now.

We have Mint (boy) the J-Bell has claimed.

There is Desti's puppy Present (girl)

Ciara has named hers Pickle (boy).

They are SO cute, and the price is right. Ok, who's first????

Homeschool Family

Friday, December 14, 2007

My Christmas Soapbox

If you ask anyone over the age of probably 25 they will tell you that they really don't like the commercialization of Christmas. I hear this a lot this time of year. Normally I overhear it talked about by two ladies sitting in the mall with all their packages at their feet as they are sipping starbucks.

Yeah, I think there are aspects of Christmas that are too comercialized. Actually probably most of it. I am sure their are studies proving that having Santa on a Coke can sells more Coke this time of year, but seriously, I have a hard time believing it. I often wonder if our grandparents felt that Christmas was too commercialized.

Seriously, who is the culprit for making it commercialized? The kids? I.don'! Now, I know I have not come in contact with all the stingy little brats precious children who think they need a room remodel for Christmas, but even if they do, there is a reason for that. Isn't there? If they weren't overindulged in previous years, they wouldn't be expecting bigger and better each year.

Don't get me wrong, my kids love the presents part too. They love getting. They love giving. And it's probably their favorite part. But they also love the other stuff too.

One of my favorite parts are cards. I love reading the letters, getting the pictures, writing the letter, and looking at my card list. And when we get a card in the mail, you would think that each card held money as the kids all get excited to see the new pictures, read the letters, and read the card. Each person on my card list is on there for a reason. They have touched our life in one way or another throughout the years and for that we want to take the time to remember them as we spend the last of the year remembering our blessings.

This year, don't b*tch about how Christmas is way over commercialized and then guilt yourself into spending a bunch of money you don't have on cr*p you don't need and either does the people you are blessing by getting them this stuff. If you hate the commercialization, then change your own pattern by making it something of meaning.

Ok, I'm done. Merry Christmas, and bah humbug!

Friday, December 07, 2007

Hanukkah ham, anyone?

This made me laugh. For those who may not know..."Chanukah" is just an alternative spelling to Hanukkah. Gotta love that delicious Hanukkah ham!

This is a real picture by the way. If you want the original blog post written by the one who spotted it, go here.
Happy Hanukkah to any readers that happen to be Jewish!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen things I hope will happen in 2008 (no matter how far-fetched they really are)

1. Get down to a good "hundred and plenty" number on the scale instead of the REALLY good hundred and plenty I am now.

2. Be better at keeping house

3. Be better at our school schedule

4. Be kinder to everyone

5. Give to others more often

6. Take more energy keeping and developing friendships

7. Play more with my kids

8. Say "yes" more often

9. Eat less cr*p and more healthful

10. Be more faithful in what I start

11. Be more transparent (yeah right!! I'm SO funny!)

12. Look on the positive side more often

13. Be at peace no matter the circumstances

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Christmas preparations

Christmas season is in full swing around here. The tree is up (thanks to the kids). I pulled out the Bethlehem village the other day and have that on display. We have been doing the Jesse tree and really enjoying that as well. The stockings are hung up on the mantle, the presents are neatly wrapped under the tree in my closet waiting to be wrapped. The Christmas letter just needs to be printed, the cards still need to be addressed, and I finally got the kids picture taken and are waiting to get them back from being printed. I still need to get a family picture taken for Grandma, but you would not believe how hard it is to get all of us together with someone else around to take the picture. After all, it IS the Christmas season.

This year I actually planned ahead for the Christmas picture. In previous years, it has been one of those "Hey, everyone get near the tree. I need a Christmas picture!" kinda moments. Whatever they were wearing at the time. We take a couple of shots, pick the one where the kids look fairly normal, and be done. This year I found coordinating sweaters, cute little hats for everyone (Yes, J-Bird had one. We will find it now that the picture has been taken), and we waited for the puppies to come so we could get them in it too. Well, don't tell a momma dog to just relax in front of a bunch of kids for a Christmas shot when she has 3 day old pups. Doesn't' work. So, we took shots of each of the kids kids holding "their" pup, and a group shot to go in the Christmas cards. We actually got some cute shots, but it looked better in my head. For one thing, we didn't have snow until 3 days ago, and I was thinking an outside shot may be possible. That was before we had a foot of the white stuff dumped in our lap. Second, I have hams, not children. They are continuously flashing a gansta sign (even if they have no clue what a gansta is), making faces, coming up with different facial expressions, and poses. This is the one time of year that I want to prove that my kids are sweet, normal, little angels. Instead, they prove that they really are a product of me.

Poor kids.

Monday, December 03, 2007


The puppies have finally arrived. They came on Sat night in the middle of the night. I woke the girls up so they could watch these little ones enter into the world. Allie is a good mom who knew exactly what to do when the time came. (Our last dog did not and we needed to break open the sacs for her)

All of the dogs hang out in the pool all the time. Allie is gracious enough to let us hold her pups for a little. What a blessing to be a witness to such a cute miracle of life. Now we can take our Christmas picture.

Thursday, November 29, 2007


Still no puppies. Maybe she's not pregnant after all. heehee

I'm heading out of town today. A friend and I are heading off to the Lang Company for their annual Christmas sale. Neither of has ever been, but it should be a good time. I've heard great things.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Christmas is coming...the goose is getting fat

The Christmas season for us is almost starting. I have gotten shopping done, there are a couple cookie exchanges to go to, music is playing in the stores. But it truly hasn't started for us. Not yet.

I am always looking for a way to take the emphasis off of gifts and back onto the real reason for the season. This year we are dong the Jesse Tree. We are finishing up making the ornaments and the tree, we have our schedule figured out, and on Dec 1 we will start. The kids are excited.

We are also going to do the secret person thing this year. I am excited to see how the kids figure out how to bless there secret friend.

It's coming fast.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Paradise update

How bad is this. It's been nearly a week from my last post. It's not that I haven't been in Blogittyville. I have. It's just that I haven't brought myself to the point of posting.

So, Allie still has not had her puppies. Ok, I don't know if I posted that she was pregnant when we took her in. We knew she was pregnant. Yes, we are that stupid. Anyhoo, we have been on puppy watch since Saturday. That is when the signs appeared that it could be anytime. She REALLY bagged up, there is discharge (yuck), her energy level has dropped, and her food consumption has decreased. And yet no puppies. They are kicking up a storm inside, but apparently they are not done with their little womb party yet.

In other news I spent the weekend after thanksgiving trying to get most of my Christmas shopping done. I did finish the extended family on both sides, and most of the kid gifts. I had a little extra shopping to do this year and nearly got that finished up too. I have some more shopping to do, but not much. At least that part is done.

The kids put up the tree already. I had told them that we were not going to put up the tree this year since I couldn't figure out where to put it. With the new pellet stove, there is really not that much room on the main floor, and I am too lazy to take the time to put it up so no one will see it. So, Knight told the kids if they really wanted it, they could do it themselves in the basement. And they did. The tree looks great. They put it in the middle of the room so they can dance around it, something they have wanted to do for years.

That's all the news in our corner of the world. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. We sure did.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Please Pray

As we are getting ready to spend the day concentrating on what we are thankful for others are hurting. There is a family in particular. This will explain. I'll just let you know that this is not the first time these parents have to bury a son. Good guy or not, these people are hurting. I know because he was a friend of my sisters family. As you remember your blessings, if you could please pray for this family. I don't know them, but I just can't imagine.
Blessings to all

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

This time of Year...

Here in Northern Wisconsin, it is really not Thanksgiving week, but gun season. This is when all you see is blaze orange, guns, and deer carcasses at every gas station. It's hunting time.

In this house, we don't hunt. Not that we are against it, just don't want to take the time and money to go sit and freeze in the woods hoping to get something. Everyone seems to hunt though. We had our pellet stove hooked up today and the contractor came at 10am since he was in the woods this morning.

I was making dinner tonight and listening to the radio. THE song came on. So in honor of the real reason for the season I bring to you hunting in Wisconsin.
Turdy Point Buck
Turdy Point Buck II (Da Sequel)

Monday, November 19, 2007

Monday Update

Readers Digest have all been taken. I've spent the day working at my desk. I have the first draft of the Christmas letter done. It's been a productive day. Since I have little to say I will leave you with a few laughs. As I was reading Toni's blog, she reminded me of some recordings that make me laugh each time I listen to them. Enjoy--

1--A witness

2--Messing with Telemarketer (you may want to censor this one a little)

3--Great prank.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Readers Digest....

3 subscriptions gone, 2 left. If you want it, hurry!

Readers Digest Anyone????

I am re-subscribing to Readers Digest at a really great price and for doing so, I have 5 gift subscriptions to give away. If you want one, PLEASE let me know by leaving a comment or an email. My email is on my sidebar. I will be sending it out by Wednesday or earlier if the subscriptions are filled. The first 5 to respond gets the subscriptions. Speak up people!!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The sweetest man

The other night Knight and I were talking about blogging. He had mentioned that he wouldn't mind having his own blog, but he wouldn't post as much. I then told him about the different types of blogs. We were talking about what would suit him better, what he would enjoy writing, what he has to say, etc.

He then informed me that he would be happy to set up a blog.

As long as he could sit on the couch and I would bring him the laptop.

Excuse me?!?!

And then he let me know he was only thinking of me.

He is trying to help me get rewards in heaven and therefore giving me an opportunity to serve.

AWWW! What a sweet man. He is always thinking of others.

*for those who don't know us, this was said in a joking manner. He really isn't a j*rk.*

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Undeserved Awards

Toni over at In the Midst of This Season has chosen to award me the Mathetes Award.

This award originated with Dan King over at Management
by God
, who states, "Mathetes is the Greek word for disciple, and the role
of the disciple (per the Great Commission) is to make more disciples. The role
of a disciple of Christ is to carry His message to the ends of the earth. It is
with this heart that I have created the Mathetes Award."Those who receive it are
to pass it on to other disciples who are sharing the good news in their own
bloggity ways.

Here are the rules: Winners of this award to pass this on to five other
"disciples". As you pass it on, I just ask that you mention and provide links
for(1)the originator of the award (Dan King of
by God
), (2) the person that awarded it to you, and then (3) name the sites
of those you believe are fulfilling the role of a disciple of Christ.

I will be honest, I struggled whether or not to even accept this award for a couple of reasons. First, this blog was not intended to create disciples or specifically to point people to Christ. I know I talk about my faith at times but not for the purpose of creating disciples. I am just sharing my life.

The other reason is because I am only generally sharing the more positive side of my life. I am not sharing my deepest hurts, burdens, struggles. When I hijacked this blog (the original intent was just to keep family updated on our lives) I made a decision that it was going to be a more upbeat blog. I had gone to some blogs and they had humor, but it was more whiny humor. I wanted to have something that was the positive side of life, even with humor. But I have not been transparent. I have only really shared one side of the picture.

So, when she gave me this award I knew this is not something I really deserve. I contemplated what to do. Then I realized something. It is not really me she is awarding it to anyway. If I have shared His truth, it was because of Him. If He is shining through me, then people are seeing Him. I am nothing. I struggle to have the faith of a mustard seed. If there has been any good shared, it is not me, it's Him.

So with that being said, I will pass this award on. Toni would have been one that I would have automatically thought of as deserving this award, but these others have each encouraged me in their own way and for that I will recognize their part sharing His truth with me and others.

Melody at Slurping Life

Monday, November 12, 2007


I need to apologize for the lack of posts lately. Things again have become crazy busy and this time there is a valid reason for it. Yeah, I know, school, church functions, awana, visiting, and all of the normal things can be valid excuses but this time is for real.

I received a phone call from someone looking for help. She had knowledge of and had a burden for this precious, sweet little girl that was currently without a home. This friend is not in the position to bring her into her family at this time, even though she and her whole family would love to be a huge part of her life, they just couldn't. And since she knew that I can never say no to those who actually need help she called me.

That was on Friday.

I said that I really didn't think that adding to my family would be best at this time.

Then on Saturday I went just to meet her. The kids instantly fell in love. She really IS the sweetest thing. I called Knight. He told me to go ahead and bring her home.

So now we have added to our family. At least for now.

We don't know if it is a temporary placement or if she will become a permanent part of our family but for now we are a family of 7.

Her name is Allie. For those who know our real names....say her name along with our last name. It will make you smile.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Where am I?

I got a call the other day from a friend asking how I'm doing. I told her what has been going on in my life (that doesn't make it to the blog) and she updated me on her life. We talked about how schooling is going for both of us (she's a homeschooler too), her recent trip, and just the general shooting the breeze. We also tried to figure out a time to get together.

We live 10 minutes from each other and go to the same church.

How sad is that? She made the commment that it seems that as soon as the school year starts we homeschoolers become antisocial. I agree.

In the summer I do see a variety of people often. Ok, generally it's whoever shows up to the pool but I do see other people. During the school year it's a completely new set of people.

I don't mean it that way, and others have made the comment in the past that I drop off the face of the earth when the school year starts, but I guess that is the way it turns out every year.

So, if you are wondering where I have's school time again. Next summer we can get reaquainted.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Product Review

I had mentioned a few weeks ago that we were using a new product in our house. I have decided I am going to openly discuss it. We bought a bed wetting alarm. I had thought about buying it off and on but decided that the kid was old enough to give it a try.

We had tried waking him up in the middle of the night to go, limiting drinks in the evening, but we were still dealing with GoodNights sleep pants. This child had 3 dry nights in 7 years. To be honest, I didn't hold a lot of hope out for this alarm thing either but thought it was worth a shot.

The first couple nights the alarm went off and he didn't wake up. The alarm beeps, vibrates, has a little light and yet he didn't hear or feel it. He did stop peeing but that was a natural reaction to all the alarm thing. I would pull him to his feet, shut the alarm off, have him go, then tell him to change, hook it back up and he'd go to bed. In the morning he wouldn't remember anything.

The third night he was dry. And the fourth. And the fifth.

On the sixth night the alarm went off again.

It has gone off once since then and this time he heard it himself and got up.

We are still using it. They recommend you use it for a good month of dry nights with no accidents at all.

This morning he came down complaining he was tired. He let me know he woke up 3 times in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.

Miracles do happen. WooHoo!!!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Wrapped Emotions Extended Version...

So, I quickly finished the table good enough to post about it and actually had another layer of polyurethane stuff (the really thick stuff) to put on it but I figured it was close enough to being done. I had put the first layer of poly on it but the next layer I wanted to get right to the edges but unsure on how to do it, I put it off. I finally figured out a way that I thought it would work. didn't work the way I had hoped. I had found an edging that wrapped around the corners well and I tightly put it on the table and poured the poly on. Not only did it not stay in the edging, but it started pouring onto the floor. P-O-U-R-I-N-G. Me, not being so prepared for this did not have something on my floors. So quickly I grabbed some old newspaper, lay it on the floor all around the table and kept working. Yeah, so it all poured onto the newspaper, but the edging did hold it long enough for it to get a decent layer around the edge of the table. I walked away for a while just so it could have a chance to set a little. When I came back, I realized that it was coming off of the newspaper.
Not that I really care about the carpet. We plan on redoing it eventually anyway, but I don't really need a whole lot of poly all over my kitchen floor. Yeah, you read that right. The previous owners carpeted the kitchen. Grrr!
So, after the table stopped dripping, I cleared the newspaper while keeping the table in place so it could completely dry. I waited, and waited, and waited. I realize now I must not have mixed the poly well enough since it is still sticky almost 2 weeks later.
The adventure doesn't end there. Oh, no it doesn't.
I put this table near a door we rarely use. But because my kids cooked bacon on a pizza stone (one with no sides) I had bacon grease in the bottom of my stove. So now it's time to clean the stove.
No, not with stove cleaner. Are you crazy? Just my automatic oven cleaning thing. You know, the one that just starts the whole thing on fire until everything becomes ash? Yeah, I'm that lazy.
Well, you have never seen a stove smoke like when there is a layer of bacon grease in the bottom of it. Smoke everywhere. Choking, eyes burning, everything. So I opened the kitchen windows, the front door, and then went to open the door in the kitchen just to help get the air moving. That means moving the table.
The table is now heavy. But this extra layer of poly seemed to make it extra heavy. Or I'm becoming a wimp. Then I realize I have polyed the table to the carpet. And it aint coming up. No siree. I try a couple times. Nope. Nothing.
Last night, Knight and the kids moved the table. The pulled, ripped, and cut. Finally the table is free. It has a couple battle scars. There is carpet attached to the bottom of one leg, and a hole in my carpet where my table had been.

Thursday, November 01, 2007


Ok, bad blogger that I have been, there has been reason. And I will tell you since I need every excuse for why I haven't dragged my fingers to the keyboard and got to posting. First, since the kids are technically public school students via virtual school we are subject to the state standardized testing. Four days of testing, a couple hours each day, and limited time to get it done has taken some of the days. Being a moron who decides to sew costumes a week before Halloween means being busier than normal at home. Add to that our normal schedule of AWANA, church, band, having company over, and school it makes for busy weeks.

Halloween was fun. We had some other kids over to help hand out treats and for Korean food. The kids were SO excited. I can't tell you how many times we heard "trick or treaters coming!" screamed in excited kid voices. It was so fun to try to guess what all the costumes were. It's funny, so many people act like they think we are so mean for not letting our kids trick or treat, but they don't see how much fun our kids still have without it. I made all the kids Indian costumes since they can wear them on Halloween, Thanksgiving, and "Pilgrim and Indian night" at church. (yes, I make my kids wear the same ones more than once!) Rara was given a feather boa by Knight so she can be a high society Indian. As the quiet one in our family he felt that she is sometimes not given as much attention as due her, so he thought he'd treat her by making her costume different. Such a sweet thought!
Off to get some stuff done. It is office day, school, and a class on watercolor painting.
No rest for the weary!!!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Weekend update...

This last weekend was a busy one. Knight took J-Bell to her first concert. This was her birthday gift. She was able to see Monk & Neagle, Aaron Shust, and Mercy Me. She was able to bring one of her friends and they had a great time. Listening to all three of them talk, they really were entertained, but what I found interesting is that they all preferred Monk and Neagle or Aaron Shust, even though Mercy Me was the headliner.

Sunday we were able to see almost all of Knights side of the family at a birthday party for Grandma. It was amazing how the family has changed in the last 13 years I have been a part of it. We used to see most of them at least a couple times a year. Aunts, uncles, cousins. We knew the whole family. When we walked in on Sunday I had to explain who is who to J-Bell. My kids were walking up to some of the other kids there and asking questions like "Are you Andie?" These are people that they spent a lot of time with in their young life, but in the last maybe 4 years the family has really sort of split up, as far as we are concerned. I know that the ones who live in town seem to see each other often, but since we are up in our corner of the world, we really have lost a lot of contact with everyone. It's really sad, and I hope that we can change that.

In all honesty, I feel bad for Knight. He grew up with all his family around. His cousins were like brothers to him. He stayed with his grandparents a lot. It was a very close family. I didn't have that. If my cousins passed me on the street, I would not recognize them with the exception of the 4 that Knight was close to. I seriously don't have a desire for family outside of my parents, sisters (and their families) and grandparents. That is plenty of family for me. But Knight...he misses how the family used to be. And it makes him sad to see what it has become.

Oh well, guess that's life.

Monday, October 29, 2007

For Melody

These "flowers" are for Melody. I thought about painting or taking a picture. I thought about actually sending virtual flowers. But then I thought about Melody and I knew the perfect flowers for her. Chocolate Roses. No amount of chocolate can cure her ache right now, but really no amount of flowers can either. Just Christ. And she has Him. But if I were a face friend, this is what I would bring. Love you Melody.

Thursday, October 25, 2007


Yes, I have been a bad blogger (as Karen so graciously pointed out!). This week has been so busy. Birthday time for Knight on Monday, Awana Monday night, Tuesday was sewing and field trip to the new packaging place and visiting, and yesterday was the carnival. Busy, busy, busy!

The carnival is normally a yearly event at church and takes a lot of work and help to get it running smoothly. This year was no exception. With it getting bigger every year we are constantly looking for ways to make it better. I loved the changes this year.

But seriously, I don't have time to tell everyone about it. I have to clean my house. State testing is being done today and I have to prepare my house. We are having other kids do the testing here as well and so I have to at least look like I have it all together for the other mom. Wouldn't want her to know the truth! Hee Hee

I'll leave you with a slide show of the carnival....

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Wrapped Emotions--Picking Through the Pieces

This week at WE featured the first guest blogger. Our assignment then came in to create a mosaic.

My challenge to you this week is to create something out of pieces,
specifically, a mosaic. Mosaic is defined (Wikipedia, yay) as "an ancient and
contemporary art form which uses individual pieces of materials placed together
to create a unified whole. The materials commonly used are glass, ceramic,
marble, pebble, mirror, shells and china." (The differences between mosaic and
collage are that mosaics tend to keep the pieces individual, whereas a collage
is more overlapping...)But I don't care what you use (the ideas above, or paper
or fabric is fine or even cookies if you'd like - the sky's the limit)...break
something or cut something or separate something and then put it all back
together into a new and beautiful whole. Breaking something changes it, perhaps
irreparably, but it gives us a new opportunity, a new chance, a new beginning,
to create something different and something whole.

When this came through I was excited. Not only did I know exactly what I was going to do, but I already had all the materials for it. I was excited, and on Tuesday while I was telling Knight what the project was, he asked how long I had to accomplish this task. I told him, and he told me that I would never get it done in time.

You see, I have had these materials since, oh...June. Sitting there. Waiting.

Good plans. Not so great ambition.

So I set out to prove him wrong.

I had a table, tiles, adhesive grout, sealer. I had an idea, a plan, and started to create. I smashed the tile, picked the pieces I wanted, broke some even more, started putting them into a picture. As I did I thought about how symbolic this really is.

Breaking something to create something new. Some of the tiles were harder to break than others, just like people. I tend to be more stubborn. I don't want to be broken, to change. Most of the time, I really don't even want to become part of a new picture, unless it is a picture I picked.

It took a lot of pieces to create a whole table. There is big pieces, small pieces, curved, straight, bland, colorful, smooth, and textured. Each was used. Each has a part in making the picture complete. But each of the tiles cannot "see" the other tiles, cannot tell what their part of the big picture is, but as the creator, I know why each piece was picked, and I know that each piece was put in a certain location for a reason.

With my picture, I created smaller pictures inside the larger one. And unless I specifically show and tell someone what the pictures are, they probably will not see what I see. And I like it that way. It can mean something to me, but it's just broken tile to everyone else.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Ever wonder what us homeschoolers do for entertainment?

Lately we have been getting to know a new family. We have been asking the Lord for some new friends for our kids, ones that home school and that are good kids. We also kind of wanted them to be outside of our church.

I know that sounds bad, but we wanted them to broaden their circle a little.

Anyway, in a wonderfully weird way, God brought a great family into our lives. The kids all get along very well, and as a bonus, I really like the mom as well. The Lord knew I needed someone like her. She is so fun, outgoing, and comfortable stopping in and seeing the sty we normally live in when we are not expecting company. What a blessing this family is to our family.

So I was dropping off a cd at this families house yesterday and ended up talking. For hours. Not that the kids minded. They have a great time.

As K and I were sitting in her living room talking, the two boys come in looking for her cat. Not a big deal until they tell us that they have caught a mouse under a bucket and want to feed it to her cat. As we look out, we see that this is something most of the kids are part of. They grab the cat, bring her to the bucket, lift the bucket and run.

This poor mouse has his back legs broken. The cat looks at it for a little, and walks away without killing the mouse. So my kids decide they want to keep it. Not going to happen, people. First, Knight HATES mice. Second, I am not going to go buy a cage, food, and all the accessories for a crippled mouse that will end up dying anyway. I probably would have for a healthy mouse, but then again, a healthy mouse would have been eaten by the cat.

So this is what we homeschoolers do for fun during the week.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Thursday Thirteen--visitor on the horizon

Thirteen signs that Aunt Flo is on her way...

1. My husband decides to be completely obnoxious.

2. My husband feels the need to touch me. talk to me. Be near me.

3. My kids are louder

4. The mess in my house multiplies.

5. I don't get enough sleep.

6. The house runs too low on chocolate.

7. My whole family tries their hardest to tick me off.

8. People start driving worse.

9. The public in general decide to get in my way.

10. The idea of being romantic is nauseating

11. Hallmark Movie Channel gets really stupid movies.

12. The people that have the most annoying voices decide to talk more.

13. I think I have less patience.

ATTENTION--Someone actually thinks I'm fabulous!

The fabulous Toni from In the Midst of this Season has so graciously bestowed the I'm Fabulous Award to yours truly. Now, it may not seem like a big deal but I don't get to drink water out of that fancy of a glass everyday! And to bonus there are two of them so I just might get a sip before the kids drink it all, needing some just because it's in a fancy glass. I sure hope that this is faux fancy so when the kids are fighting over the glasses and drops them, they just have that slight sound of plastic bouncing. Don't judge...we are high society here around these parts!

But Toni, being sneaky as she will be has given this award with strings. She also tagged all of her victims friends with the 7 random things meme. But before I get to that, I will pass this award on with the same have to do the meme too. Hee Hee, us who learn our kids at home have to stick together!


1. Link to the person who has tagged you.

2. Tell seven true things about yourself.

3. Tag seven new people (or in my case 2)

4. Leave a message with the person you have tagged so they know about it.

So my choices are...

Leeann from The World:through the eyes of me. She is a neat person, but what I think is really neat is that she is going to to naked for a great cause. Well, only naked at the top of her head, but anyone willing to shave their head for someone else is fabulous in my world.

As the World Scraps (sorry I couldn't find her screen name) I have just recently been introduced to her blog, but let me tell you, this woman is fabulous! I love her creativity, her energy, and her faith, and the fact that she feels comfortable just popping in unannounced and eating all my M&M's!

Onto my 7 random things......

1. I love organizing but hate cleaning. I can find almost anything in my house in a short period of time, but I couldn't tell you the last time I dusted. (my mom is so proud! lol)

2. I am probably an eccentric. I get weird ideas and want to implement them, but Knight tends to be the voice of reason. For example, I have a huge front porch. I have wanted (still do) to fill it with sand, put up some bamboo shades, fake palm trees, some lawn chairs so I can pretend I live at the beach. Is that normal for a 30 year old mother of 4? Do I care if it is?

3. I spend a lot of time on the computer but 99% of my time is at 5 sites. Gmail, Bloglines, finetune, foxnews, MyYahoo (news again)

4. I don't like calling people. I don't want to interrupt their day. I will email, or text all day, but I generally don't call. But I like it if people call me.

5. I consider my genre of music is pretty diversified. It tends to be all Christian, but I like and have found hip hop, country, praise & worship, contemporary, reggae, and classical(ish) all with Christian or clean lyrics. My MP3 will go from Randy Travis, to Casting Crowns, to Jars of Clay to Toby Mac. No one can say my kids only know one type of music.

6. I have been playing with my beads lately making necklaces. This is the one craft I really enjoy that I can afford. I don't wear jewelry. Not even my wedding ring.

7. I think math is fun. I love learning the new ways to do math as I teach my kids. I will buy the penny press puzzle books when they have the Math and Logic ones for sale. Sudoku is relaxing. But don't try to get me to do a crossword. I am horrible at those.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Homeschooling is Yummy!

The best thing about homeschooling is you get to learn as you teach the kids. Today was no exception. Not only did I learn a sort of different way to multiply decimals (thank you Mr Demme!) but we finished up with our Mesopotamia unit, have already been to Egypt, and now we are following Moses out of Egypt into the promised land and are going to take the next 3 weeks studying different things about Judaism.

I am so fascinated! I have never thought of Judaism as a completely different religion from Christianity. A lot of the stories are the same, and never really gave much thought into the differences. But boy, are there differences!

We are learning about all the ritual, from Shabbat (the Sabbath) to Rosh Hashannah (the Jewish new year). So, as we were reading and learning about Shabbat today, the book mentioned Challah (braided egg bread). I have only had Challah once before when I decided to make it for Thanksgiving (why? Who knows. That was YEARS ago.) I did remember that I loved it, and it tasted like pretzel bread to me.

So today, we made Challah for supper. The kids loved it. I hope they didn't REALLY love it. I would hate to have to make it all the time. That's work!
These next few weeks are going to be so great!

Now I remember!!!

Whenever I had a new baby, I would constantly be having moments where I am thinking "Oh yeah, now I remember what this was like." It started early in the pregnancy with all the sickness. Then again as the baby would grow and it would be close to delivery and you just want to be done being pregnant. Then as I would be in labor I again would think-"Oh, yeah. This really hurts! I forgot how bad!" And as the baby would get me up in the middle of the night, interrupting my sleep I would think it again.

NO, I'm not pregnant. That chapter in my life is done, and I am SO thankful. Not that I don't like babies, but now I like babies as long as they are going home with someone else. We will leave the baby scares to Melody, the baby hopes to Leeann, and relearning the new baby stage all over to Molly (I really need to try to get over there today and see her new one!)

We are using a new product in our home and it is reminding me of the baby days. (link is provided to not embarrass the user but to let the readers know what I'm talking about) I never know when I am going to be woken up. But if this product works it is going to be a miracle.

But in the mean time, I'm one tired mama. Now, I REALLY remember the hell the good old days.

Monday, October 15, 2007

I am SO not qualified for this

I have four completely different children. Different personalities, different temperments, different learning styles, just different. Personally, I think they look completely different too. Yet, others have asked if they I have twins, they confuse my kids and can't tell them apart.

J-Bell is my take charge, controlling, little mother. She is generally happy, learns easily, ultra responsible and bossy. She is not a naturally clean person, but is naturally obedient. She tries her best to learn so she can do it for herself. In fact, if she could drive, she could probably run the L.D. route on certain days. She comes at the world with a very analitical point of view.

Desti is my emotionally driven child. She is very in tune with others and can make almost any little kids feel comfortable around her. She is very giving, thinking about how to serve others. She has a little tougher time book learning in a conventional way, but don't discount her smarts. If there is a way around a problem, she will find it. She tends to see things in black and white. She is normally the first one to point out if something is not "right" and has actually asked me if Knight would approve of a song that I was listening to.

Rara is a little quieter. Not wanting to upset others, she tries not to argue or say negative. She lives in her own world and loves to play with others, but can be just as happy playing with herself. She is a very hands on learner, and is best taught with experiments. She loves to cuddle and be held but she is discusted by germs. She doesn't like kisses or nakedness. When she gets married she plans on sealing her wedding vows with a handshake (she is dead serious about that!)

J-Bird is my boy. Football, tennis, action, hands on, he sometimes has a hard time controlling his anger and is the only child yet to tell me they hate me. He doesn't like to be the youngest child. At times he feels like he can do nothing right, since he is constantly told how to do everything. I am still learning his learning style, but so far it seems very hands on too.

The Lord has given this challenge to me. To look at them, at their differences, at the challenges I see coming, I feel so underqualified. I truly don't know why the Lord felt like I was the best person to bring them up. I know that there is no way I can do it on my own. And I take no credit for how great each of them are. That is totally GRACE.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

More humor in Paradise

I have children that love to be with Knight and I. To a fault. You hate to constantly shoo a child away, but sometimes things need to be said without little ears around.

We do our best to only shoo a child away when it is absolutely necessary. So we will have these big long theoretical discussions between Knight and I while the kids listen, or half listen, or not listen at all, but they always feel the need to add anyway.

For example tonight we were doing our fall chores. Putting plastic on our 100 year old windows, taking the trampoline down for the winter, and cutting some of the bushes back. After all of this, we started a fire to burn the brush we had just cut.

Knight and I were talking about some miscommunication earlier. I had gone with him when he went to sell some out dated product in town, and while we were there he said..."Is there anywhere you would like to go? I have already eaten, but is there anywhere you want to go?" I wanted to go to Shopko and even though I would have liked to grab a bite, I did not want to eat alone while he watched. Later we were talking about how he would not have minded grabbing a bite while we were out. The rest of the conversation went like this--

Me- "I don't like to eat alone when I am with someone. I don't mind eating alone, but when someone is with me I don't want them to just watch me eat."

Knight- "Well, sometimes I just like to be out with you. I might not be hungry but I like being with you. Especially when we are alone."

Desti- "Daddy, you know...sometimes I imagine the garden of Eden......."

Her timing was so funny! We started laughing, and she sat there confused on why. So we listened to how she pictured the garden and started talking about different theories.

If the bible says that "sin entered the world through one man, and through sin - death, and thus death has spread through the whole human race because everyone has sinned." (Romans 5:12) So we were debating if that meant that NOTHING died, that sharks didn't eat flesh, that lions were vegetarians, or does that mean that no man has died, since man is the only one with a soul that has free will. Knight mentioned he thought that even mosquitoes would not have sucked blood before the fall. Then Desti pipes up again after listening to us.

"You know, one day I felt a mosquito on my leg and before I swat it, I looked down and it was THIS BIG!"

We are so glad they pay such close attention

Friday, October 12, 2007

Wrapped Emotions 6

Wrapped Emotions button
Keep a Crayon Handy

Life is full of texture...physically and emotionally. I love see...physically and emotionally. Scratchy, bumpy,
smooth, woven. Texture stimulates sight as well as touch. We identify emotions
and life events in terms of texture...a bumpy relationship, woven with love,
smooth sailing. Can you name more?

Sometimes taking a photograph of something just doesn't seem like
enough. I want to take part of it with me.This week let's do crayon rubbings.
You will need an unwrapped crayon and thin paper such as tracing paper, onion
skin paper, or tissue paper and your eyes and finger tips.

As this week's prompt came through, I of course, thought of leaves. That is the only crayon rubbing I have ever done. And with all the leaves changing colors and falling to the ground, it would have been easy to quickly get my project completed and move on.
And yet, I didn't want to cop out. So I looked around. I touched. I actually tried a few things. My grass skirt that I received as a thank you from a lady in Yap, Micronesia...didn't really show the texture I wanted. My didn't do the trick either.
Then I noticed "the window" again. I have an old window from our house (we have put new windows in). It had four panes, and I let each of the kids paint one pane and I have it displayed in my classroom. The paint is thicker, and the kids gave it some texture. I thought it would make an interesting piece and hopefully unique. I don't go and visit the other Wrapped Emotions posts until I post mine, that way I cannot use someone else as inspiration.
*Sorry you can't click on a picture and get a closer look. My camera battery is dead--again so these picts were taken by my phone.*

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

13 Great Proverbs and Sayings. All of them have great truth in them. Take your time. THINK about the meaning.

1. After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box.~Italian Proverb

2. All things good to know are difficult to learn.~Greek Proverb

3. All sunshine makes the desert.~Arab Proverb

4. Listen or your tongue will keep you deaf.~Native American Proverb

5. Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.~Spanish Proverb

6. We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.~Winston Churchill

7. We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. ~Author Unknown

8. When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

9. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. ~Ambrose Redmoon

10. Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~Attributed to both T.H. Thompson and John Watson

11. Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

12. Opportunities do not come with their values stamped upon them. ~Maltbie Babcock

13. Don't do what you'll have to find an excuse for. ~Proverb

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Humor in Paradise

We are finishing up learning about Mesopotamia this week. We've talked about the Pangaea theory, settling, and some of the ancient towns. Ur, Babylon, Sodom, and Gamorah, just to name a few. As I have each week, I have asked who lived in Babylon. Each week they are able to get Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. Actually, no matter who I ask, J-Bell pipes up and starts singing the "Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego" song. So I asked Rara who else lived in Babylon. She thought about it and answered "Mr. Nezzer!" At least Vegi-Tales taught her something. *For the record she did end up answering Daniel*

I entertain myself, a lot. The other night I was straightening my blanket to get ready for bed and Knight was already cuddled up under his blanket. I took notice that he took the warmer of the two. (No, we don't share blankets) I had a thought that I thought would be funny, so I crawled under my covers, grabbed the corner of his blanket and rolled to steal it. Apparently he was ready for me. He rolled with the blanket and cuddled right up to me with a "I'm so glad you want to cuddle tonight!" Apparently being married long enough, he knows all my tricks!

Having friends over the other day, the kids were talking about Knight's birthday that is coming up. Then they got on the subject of how old he was going to be, then it went to how old I am. Then the friends piped up. "My mom is older than both your parents. She's ____!"

Never a dull moment!

Monday, October 08, 2007

Mike Huckabee

We intrrupt this blog for this announcement--I normally don't get political here, but since it is MY blog, I just thought I'd share who I've started to think would be a great canidate. At least look. Then make an informed decision.--ok, back to our regular programming...

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Birthday Gift +

For J-Bird's birthday we gave him a 3-ring binder, football card sheets (you know the things that hold football cards), and a new box of football cards. The kids have gotten into football cards this year, and J-Bird has shown a lot of interest in football as well.

All of the kids were organizing, sorting, opening the cards.

Then they came across what they all have hoped to get.

A signed card.

J-Bird is thrilled. I think it's so neat that he got one on his birthday. In the same box was a Favre card(His favorite player). The fun is not knowing what you are going to get. And getting what you were hoping for.

It's amazing that God blesses with the little and the big.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Happy Birthday Boy!!


You are 7 today. I can't believe how time goes by, and yet I love watching you grow from a baby to my little man.

When I found out that you were a boy, I still had a couple of months to get used to the idea before you made your appearance into this world. Having a boy scared me. I had all sisters. Then I had 3 girls. I didn't know if I would know how to do the boy thing.

There is so much more imagined pressure on raising a son. Our goal for all of our children is to be strong in the Lord, a compassionate person, a hard worker. But we know that someday you will probably lead a family. We pray that we are able to prepare you for that role correctly.

I love to watch the boy in you. The love for the Packers. The love for fishing. The love for building things with your hands. I also love to watch you care for the weaker ones around you, your desire to do things the right way, and your willingness to play with most anyone.

Happy Birthday. You make me proud to call you son.

Wrapped Emotions 5

This week let loose...get edgy with your your
spirit...absolutely no fear. We had enough of that
. This prompt is not associated with any tangible or figurative
wrapper. I simply want you to experience the fun of creating. This week we're
working to feel the emotion of JOY. Not necessarily expressing the actual word
or symbolism of joy in your can celebrate shoe polish if you choose.
But enJOY the process. Let's create our own graffiti.

Graffiti artists develop their own styles. They work quickly,
intuitively, randomly and never stop the process to think about what to do next.
You should try anything, everything...collage, paint, stains, spray paint,
markers, colored pencils, markers, stencils, doodling, marks, lines, swirls,
symbols, written words, calligraphy, images (photos, magazine cutouts,
photocopies, sketches), stamps, prints...whatever.

Think of urban graffiti walls. The art is vibrant, multi-layered,
freestyle, textured. Do not over think as you work, and do not think neat,
orderly. Think juxtaposition.

Sorry, I'm not going to explain. I will just let you see what you see. That's the way it is with graffiti

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Masters Mind Academy

I give up!

If any of you actually went to the homeschool blog, you will know that I just was having trouble getting myself to post on there. One of the reasons is because education just happens in this house. We do have school time, but I find myself teaching my kids at all hours. School is just the stuff I "have to" teach. So tonight I deleted the homeschool blog. I figure that if I want to talk about school, I will do it here.

Not that I have much to say on the subject.


Monday, October 01, 2007

We're Back!

We just got back from our mini-vacation to Duluth, MN. We love this city. And this year was even better because there is a new waterpark that they have put in since we last vacationed there a couple years ago.

But if your not familiar with Duluth let me tell you, this is a perfect place for a relaxing vacation. They have beautiful buildings (I love brick buildings and they seem to build with brick and stone everywhere

There is also the lake, light houses,and the lift bridge. Nothing will give you instant peace like going to a huge body of water and listening to the waves.

There are tons of free things to do in the summer. You can play at the lake, go to the rose garden, Engar Tower Park that overlooks the whole city, window shop the various shops. You can spend days there and only pay for food and lodging.

This city is on a hill. The view from up by Engar Park is spectacular.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Music at it's finest

I am sitting in my hotel room on our mini vacation and can't sleep. So I thought I would draw your attention to my new thing on the side bar.

My personal radio.

I love music. But I struggle finding radio stations that have a good mix of music that I like. So I use

It's great. I load up my playlists with the songs of the moment, and they play them at random. No commercial interruptions.

So, on the off chance you are actually interested in the mix of music I listen to, go ahead, listen. Or better yet, go make your own. It's like making your own mix tape, only better.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Mother of the Year, I am not

I would love to say that I go through my days cleaning, cooking, and teaching with a smile on my face. My quiet and gentle spirit always winning out. My kids knowing that their mom has undending patience and understanding.

Unfortunately, that is not the case. There are times that I lose my temper. I get angry, frustrated, and sometimes I lose it. I yell.

So the kids were talking the other day and they revealed to me that they have talked about their plan for when I get mad. I had not known they had a plan until then.

They actually have two plans. If we are in the car when I am angry, they all stop talking. No noise. At all. If we are at home they listen until I am done "talking" to them, and then they quietly sneak away to their rooms until I calm down.

I thought these were pretty wise plans. Giving me peace and quiet calms me down faster than anything. So then I asked what their plan was for when Knight is mad. They don't have one. That is how little he gets mad.

So the other day I got really upset. I had been having a bad week anyway, but this was the final straw. Nothing that was totally devestating, but completely irritating. They were supposed to be working on school and they were fooling around. I was trying to do the dishes, but kept having to go back into the living room and tell them to work. Then they spilled a full cup of hot chocolate in the livign room. On the carpet. They are not supposed to eat or drink in the living room.

So I lost it. Even more than normal. So, the plans took effect and the kids disappeared. I started to calm down. Then to my great shame they gave me card. It was filled with lines like..."turn that frown upside down", "maybe if you wore makeup you wouldn't look so angry", and "Don't worry, be happy".

So, I will not be winning the Mother of the Year award, but at least my kids take it with stride.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Wrapped Emotions 4

Wrapped Emotions buttonThis weeks wrapped emotions prompt was I think scary for all of us participants. It asked us to be real. To be honest. To really share.

Finding a place of trust...I'm trying. Being a Christian (and this is
not a push to those who are not) I know my peace within is found in God. I also
know that I must learn to trust myself and to release many fears...

there is a place somewhere...a place you can pray, meditate, think and
quietly face the reality of what is holding you back in life. It could be the
bathroom...a corner in Starbucks...your front porch...a park bench. But go
there. Quietly open up to trust...

Whatever you take from this, take it to your art journal. Create what
you feel. No, there are no suggestions, no list of materials...this is
freestyle. This is you...What you it a page of jumbled words,
mingled colors, introspective images...should be intimately yours. If you are
not comfortable posting your completed journal page, no problem. Write a blog
post with what you are comfortable sharing. Should you find yourself trying, yet
not completing this ritual, share is not failure to try.My heart hopes
we will share...that we will trust ourselves...that we will uncover more of our
wrapped emotions


I love Melody. Her heart for her kids and for the Lord shines through on her blog. But as I read and re-read this I kept thinking that I don't have to learn to trust myself. In all honesty, I need to stop trusting myself. Don't get me wrong, I do have trust issues. I do have fears. I honestly believe that they are the same fears that everyone has. The fear of rejection, the fear of failure, the fear of the unknown, the fear of the trials yet to come, the fear of being hurt yet again.

I have described myself as a vessel that has been weakened. I have the fear that if someone hits me in a weakened spot, I will shatter. So I keep people at arms length. When I see hurt coming, I distance myself from it. Self preservation. At least that's what I call it.

But this lack of trust has nothing to do with me. I trust myself. I know that if I do things, control things, plan things, I will be fine. I want to control the intimacy in each of my relationships, I want to control how much of myself I share, I want to have plans, make plans, and execute those plans. I want to do it all. I trust myself with my heart, my soul, and my mind. Do you see the problem with this?

The problem is...I became a Christian nearly 11 years ago. I had decided to put my trust in Christ...not me. Trust is a choice, as those who are doing this challenge found out. They are choosing to trust. And so I need to get back to that place of trust. Not in myself, but in Him.

He has been faithful. I have seen that. I know that I know Him. I know that I have been redeemed. But when he brings these trials into my life, for my own good, I pull back. I fight him. I start leaning on myself again. I will "cowboy up". I pull back on my trust in him. Not that I would ever say I don't trust him, but if you look at my fruits, you will see the truth.

So, I need to start trusting him fully again. That is a very scary thing for me. Not because he hasn't been good and faithful, but because I know he is going to do what is best for me, not what I think is best for me. He wants to show me the area's in my life that I have not surrendered all to him, and then he wants me to let him work. I am stubborn, and the process is not fun. But I also know that I can't do it on my own. He not only will give me the trial, but he will give me the strength to get through the trial. I just need to trust. And if he shatters me, I also need to trust him in that. With my all.

Today, I will renew my vow. Today, I will admit to trying to do it myself, to turn my life over once again to His will, to His glory, to His praise. And because of His grace alone, he will forgive me, let me crawl up on his lap and rest in His love. And then he will start his work once again.