Friday, June 15, 2007

Paradise. How quickly that can shatter and you find yourself fighting the tears, trying to look like you are SURE everything is going to be ok, sitting and praying like you have never prayed before. And I thought today would be normal.

Rara wasn't feeling real hot last night. We had company and she went and laid down on the couch. She slept on the floor in the living room while we slept on the couch. I was just praying, "Lord, help her not be sick on Monday so she can go to camp, and don't have the other girls get sick either."

I woke up at 7 to her throwing up. Bummer. I hope this doesn't spread. She goes back to sleep, I have my devotions, spend some time with the Lord, and then check out the blogs. Desti gets up. Her thumb is hurting yet. Well, they said if it didn't start getting better in a couple days I need to bring her back in. It's only been 36 hours but it is Friday. Camp is on Monday. There is a birthday party for my niece tomorrow. I don't really have the time to wait too much longer to find out if it's going to get better on it's own, or if it's really broke. So I bring her into the clinic.

They look at me like I'm nuts for bringing her back in. I try to explain that I just want to make sure she is ok before I am dealing with ER again. We are out of the clinic and on with our day in no time.

A quick stop for a gift for the birthday party, meet Knight for breakfast and I'm back home. Today I am going to hit the laundry hard. We have been gone all week and the house is looking pretty rough. Rara's stomach is still bothering her but we are getting the house looking decent again. I head out to put more clothes on the line, clean up the yard a bit and go back inside. I am met with "Rara wants you"

She is crying. Her belly hurts. This is my child that doesn't complain. And she is screaming. She can't quite figure out how to let me know how bad it hurts so she tries to describe it. "It feels like I'm having a baby! OWWWWW!"

The call to urgent care is met by "We can fit you in at 2:20. Ummm, waiting 1.5 hours. Yeah, no thanks. This feels more serious than that. ER here we come.

They admit us and we wait. And wait. And wait. Tick...tick...TICK! People, don't you know that this is my CHILD. She is not acting right. Stop being so nonchalant and get urgent! NOW! We got the ER a little after 1. At 4:30 they have finally decided that it IS appendicitis and they are going to do surgery. Surgery will be in an hour, home tomorrow. No big deal.

Yeah. Tell that to someone else. This is MY CHILD! Fix her but I still don't trust you. I am reminding myself all of her protection comes from the Lord anyway. Nobody can fix her or harm her without the Lord.

"Yes, Lord. Truly, I do trust YOU with her life. But I am not ready to say goodbye. Lord, I have a peace that you are with her, but I don't have a peace that I will be with her here on earth again. Lord, you know my will, but please help me line up my will with yours. I am CHOOSING to trust you."

At 6:15 she goes into surgery. A LONG 45 minutes later the surgeon comes in. She made it out of surgery. The appendix did rupture. There is a possibility of more complications. If everything goes ok we will come home on Monday. She is feeling ok. We have gotten her up walking already. She is getting her fill of Disney channel.

It will again be paradise but this time I know how easily it could all fade.


Mommy said...

How's a mom to know these things? Just more evidence that our children are in God's hands and not ours. That should bring complete peace...but my faith can be so small (or non-existent).

Praying for you all!

molly said...

OH, Deanna! And Ciara! I am so sorry to hear about this! I hope you're recovering well, Ciara, and that you are home and well soon. We are praying for you and love you! See you soon!