Saturday, March 17, 2007

I was somewhere around 8 years old the first time I really had to deal with death. Not like the death of an animal. I remember dealing with that too, but this was different. This was a friend.

Scotty was 5. He was out playing and fell. He needed stitches in his chin. Because of a doctors' stupid mistake, his life was ended. If I remember right, the family had come over just the week before. His sister and I were the same age and we probably had amused ourselves by picking on the younger kids, but we all did get along pretty well. I remember my parents taking the phone call saying that he died. I know what room they were in. My sister came in and told me in gossip style "Scotty died". I told her to shut up and kicked her out of the room. I thought she was trying to make some sick joke.

Then my parents told us. It was real. Someone younger than me died. Someone I knew. Someone who wasn't sick. They didn't have cancer. The didn't get into a car accident. Just a little boy fell while playing and hurt his chin.

That is heavy reality for someone that age.

Later on as I was struggling with the fact that he was gone, I remember sitting on my dads lap on the recliner and he was rocking me and letting me cry. I know now that he was struggling to explain this to his little girl but he was probably struggling himself. He was trying to explain to me that I was not sad because Scotty was dead, but because he wasn't around anymore. I understood death, but I didn't quite understand my feelings. But I remember being there on my dads lap and knowing everything was going to be ok for me. Dad was there. He was the strongest man in the world. In that moment I knew that I was loved, I was safe.

Now I come to my relationship with God. The Bible tells us that we should think of and call God "Abba, Father". Or better translated, Daddy. I did not know God growing up. But when I think of Him being my heavenly daddy I picture that day and then I envision crawling up on Gods lap and he holds me while I cry. But I know that everything will be ok because I am with Him. I am loved. I am safe.

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