Friday, March 16, 2007

Since I have had trouble figuring out what to blog about I thought I would put my various "soap boxes" on as topics. It's really not that I'm in a bad mood, actually the truth is that I've been in a great mood today. I just figured I'd tell the small readership I have the things that get to me at times. And, although Poppy's idea about blogging about how she packs Kleenex up her nose instead of taking the time to wipe it when it runs is such a great idea, I think maybe I will use that for a WFMW if I ever decide to jump on that train.

First, I don't understand why the Lord thought Knight and I would make the perfect match. It's not that I don't love him, I really do. It's just that so many things are so different about us it makes for some pretty difficult situations at times. I don't like to be touched, he loves to cuddle. I live in emotional extremes, he is even tempered. I am not one to enjoy bodily noises, he shares them a lot. I am not competitive, he won't play if he can't win. Relations could be once a month for me, that does not work for him. I know that opposites are supposed to attract, but why? Balance? Wouldn't it just be easier if we were a little more similar?

Next, why is it that Christians seem to be so embarrassed to talk about issues and struggles we all have. I know that we can't share our dirty laundry with everyone, but why have such a taboo on things that most women are going through or that even couples struggle with. Even if it is not a struggle we hide the fact that the Lord created our bodies to have cycles that have the same thing happen every month, but shhh, don't say anything. Or if you are struggling trying to figure out how to keep your husband satisfied and have kids hanging on you, a house to clean, people to feed and you are just tired, not interested, bored, or things don't work real smoothly, people suffer in silence because there is a loudly unspoken rule that those things are not to be discussed. I'm not talking about embarrassing anyone or talking about sinful things or encouraging things that could be sinful, but in a good monogamous relationship things still may need a little help.

I know most of the people in my circles don't talk about this type of stuff, but I am so tired of trying to look like the "perfect Christian woman" (not that I ever got close to that!) I want to be real with people and I want people to be real with me. I know that I add to the problem as much, if not more, than anyone else. So here is me being real. My smile is real at times, and other times I feel like I am so deep in a pit that I can't even see the sky anymore but I still smile. Because I wouldn't want anyone to know that I am faking every second of my day. In weak moments I will open up and tell you what is on my heart but at the times I am hurting greatly, I probably won't share with you. I don't mean to hurt people with my privacy but I can't and won't share the most private of hurts when they actually hurt. I have done that and have regretted it.

So there it is, just a couple things that have been going on in my warped mind. Now that I've shared, feel free to run and hide! Hee Hee


Tammy said...

Well if there's one thing I love about you.... it's your openness, that is.for.sure! I can completely relate to everything you said here. You need to come over for a chat. Seriously.

Keri said...

THANK YOU (I mean that)!

yours truly B said...

You hit the nail on the head and I can relate to you on just about everything Thank you for being so open.